The Best Christmas Gift
by Fiyero3305
Summary: Logan works on a homemade gift to show Kendall how special he is.


"Mama Knight, you know how to knit, right?" Logan asked his second mother as they sat in the Knights' living room. He and Mrs. Knight had just finished a day of prep work for her annual Christmas Eve party, as they always did the day after Thanksgiving.

"Oh yeah, Logan. I used to make all of Kendall and Katie's baby clothes myself." The red-haired woman replied with a warm smile "Why do you ask?"

"Well I was kind of hoping you could maybe teach me? I want to learn how to knit stuff"

"Of course honey!" She exclaimed brightly "I have some extra needles and yarn you can use to practice. We can actually start now if you want? I've got all the stuff in the closet upstairs."

"Um, sure that'd be great" Logan said gratefully as Mrs. Knight was already getting up from the couch and heading for the stairs.

"You put in _It's A Wonderful Life_ and get it started and I'll be right back down"

Logan smiled as he opened the DVD player's tray and rested the disc inside. He loved this tradition he had with Mrs. Knight, the woman who truly was a mother to him in all things but birth. The Knight family meant so much to him. Katie was as much his little sister as she was Kendall's and Kendall was... well... those feelings were a bit complicated, but above all Kendall was his best friend, and Mrs. Knight gave Logan the attention and encouragement he struggled to find at home. His parents weren't unloving just...busy. Mrs. Knight slipped so readily into the role of his surrogate mother and never made him feel that she was taking pity on him in the least. He was just a friend of her son's who, over the years, had become another son of hers.

Logan sat back on the couch and waited for Mama Knight to return as the DVD menu replayed a few times. Just when he was thinking of going to see if she needed any help he heard her footsteps on the stairs.

"Sorry!" She called out from the landing and walked into the room "I swear that hall closet is taking on a life of its own!" She said with a small exasperated laugh "But I finally found all my old knitting stuff"

Mrs. Knight dropped the plastic storage bin on the coffee table and dug out two pairs of needles and a couple balls of yarn. Logan peered into the box as Mama K rooted around. He saw a lot of loose papers with patterns for baby clothes, booties, sweaters, scarves, mittens, and hats; a few scraps of knitted yarn; and an unfinished pink garment still attached to a needle.

"Oh, I remember this!" Mrs. Knight said, picking up the needle with a look of warm nostalgia on her face. She turned to Logan and held up the knitting "This was going to be a Christmas present for Katie when she was five, but she saw me knitting it and just said 'That's not for me, is it? I hate pink fluffy stuff like that'" She smiled a bit wryly at the memory and sighed "She always knew what she wanted, and was never afraid to speak her mind about it." Logan was sure that if his mother ever actually made something with her own hands for him he would never, ever say that he didn't want it. i_But then again_/i, he thought, i_maybe it'd be different if that was all I'd grown up with._ /i__

"Anyway" Mrs. Knight said, shaking both her and Logan from their thoughts "Let's start the movie and get this going"

Logan pressed 'Play' and turned his attention to Mrs. Knight's instructions as the movie's familiar opening began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan went to Mrs. Knight for lessons over the next few days until he was confident enough in his skills to try what he was planning. He thanked her for all her help and made plans to take the bus to the mall the next day after school.

When Logan arrived at the mall he headed to a shop he'd seen when aimlessly roaming the shopping complex with Kendall, James, and Carlos (really, what else were four high school freshman in the mid-est of the Midwest going to do with their free time?) but had never entered.

'Threads 'n' Things' was the kind of store he would probably deny ever setting foot in, if asked. The fluffy kittens frolicking on the sign and rows of potpourri by the door scenting a ten-foot radius of the entrance were enough to shame any self-respecting 14-year old boy, but here Logan stood, in an aisle of that very store, surrounded by more yarn choices than he thought could ever be necessary, searching for the perfect shades of red, green, and beige. After finally finding the right colors he purchased his yarn and the best pattern he could find (Mama Knight had let him keep the needles he'd been practicing with) and exited as quickly as he could, praying that no one from school would see him leaving the store.

"Hey Logan!" a voice he recognized as Carlos' called out to him when he was a few feet down the hall. Hoping that Carlos hadn't seen what store Logan had just left he turned to his best friend.

"Hey Carlos, what's up?"

"Nothing" Carlos said. "Just came here after my detention today to get some corndogs to cheer myself up" he said, showing Logan the corndog in each hand he was carrying.

"How'd you get detention?" Logan asked, surprised he hadn't heard about it yet.

"Oh you know Principal Helbling" the shorter boy said with a shrug "She thought that rollerblade-skateboarding down the main hallway was 'A danger to myself and other students'" the Latino boy said, imitating their principal's condescending tone.

"Oh, you only got a detention for that?" Logan asked, incredulous "I seriously thought you'd get an in-school-suspension for that one!"

"What? Dude it was not that bad!"

"You ran down Mr. Kaspar, crushed Mr. B's copy of i_Frühlings Erwachen_/i, knocked Jenny Tinkler into the fountain, and seriously dented the lockers you crashed into!"

"Well, ok, I guess it was pretty bad" Carlos said, looking down disappointedly and took a bite of the corndog in his right hand. It was then that he noticed the bag in Logan's hand. "'Threads 'n' Things'?" Carlos read with a disbelieving expression "Dude, what are you getting in 'Threads 'n' Things'?"

Crud, Logan forgot that the bag had the store name on it.

"Um, just some stuff... um, for my mom... 'cuz, you know, Christmas is coming" Logan lied.

"You know, you're really bad at lying" Carlos said through a mouth full of corndog. He swallowed and smiled in amusement at Logan's obvious discomfort.

"Alright, fine, I want to make something for someone, ok?" Logan said as he could feel his ears and cheeks burning.

"Oh, what are you making? Who are you gonna make it for?" Carlos asked excitedly, starting to bounce up and down.

"None of your business! I have to go!" Logan turned quickly away from Carlos, but Carlos was right behind him.

"Come on, just tell me what you're making!" Carlos whined. He tossed his empty corndog stick in a garbage can they passed and started on the other.

"I don't want to, I'll feel silly" Logan said. "Why are you following me anyway?" He asked as they reached the snowy sidewalk.

"Well I've got to catch the bus out here, man. It's not like I just drove here!" Carlos laughed.

"Oh, yeah, of course" Logan said. Crud again, there was no way he'd be able to keep Carlos quiet on the ride home if he didn't give him some kind of answer. "Look, I'm just making a present because I think it'll be more...special than something store-bought. Plus I don't have that much money so this is just better."

"But who's it for?" Carlos asked again, throwing his second corndog stick away. "Why's it so spe-" Suddenly Carlos stopped with a look of epiphany on his face. The expression melted into a mischievous smile that Logan knew couldn't be good.

"What Carlos?"

The glee on Carlos' face seemed to increase "I know who that's for. Ah, I can't wait to tell James!"

"Carlos what are you talking about?" Logan demanded.

Carlos leaned closer to Logan, like he was sharing a juicy secret and whispered excitedly "You're making a special present for Kendall!"

Logan could feel his face fall as he froze on the spot. He didn't even notice the bus had pulled up to the stop until the driver honked. "Yo, you two kids getting on? I've got a schedule here!"

The boys paid their fare and got on. Logan sat right next to Carlos.

"Carlos, how did you know?" He asked frantically.

"Well James has thought for a while about you and Kendall and then he told me about it and I started picking up on things too" Carlos said with a lighthearted grin.

"What do you mean? Why are you guys talking about me?"

"It's nothing bad Logan. Man, he's going to go so crazy when I tell him this" Carlos bounced in his seat with excitement.

"Carlos, please" Logan said with as much earnesty as he could "Please don't tell James about this" He locked eyes with Carlos, who was sobering slightly "It's really personal and I don't want anyone to know about it ok?"

"Logan it's not like we're gonna make fun of you-"

"PLEASE, Carlos" Logan begged "I feel really silly about this as it is"

Finally Carlos got serious "Ok, I won't tell him" he said, sounding disappointed "But you owe me, buddy!" He said with his smile returning "Next time I ask you to do something fun with me you HAVE to do it, and you can't whine about it either!" Carlos said firmly.

"Um..." Logan hesitated. It was never, ever a good idea to agree to do something with Carlos when he hadn't told you what it was. It usually wasn't even a good idea to agree to Carlos' plans when he HAD told you what they were. "...deal." Logan finally said, wondering what he had just gotten himself into and dreading the day this favor would be called in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next two weeks passed stressfully for Logan. Thankfully, Carlos was true to his word and hadn't told James about Logan's present for Kendall, and Logan found his admiration for Carlos grew a bit. As much as he loved Carlos, he never thought he'd be able to trust him with a secret like this, but Carlos was a true and loyal friend with more restraint than Logan often gave him credit for. Unfortunately, however, Logan was finding the actual process of working on his gift much more challenging than he'd anticipated. He was able to knit plenty of straight lines thanks to Mama Knight's instruction, but the pattern proved more difficult than he thought it would be, and he made more mistakes without Mama K. there to catch them in time. He was even forced to buy two more skeins of yarn after so many mistakes.

Luckily, no one he knew was there to catch him at the store the second time.

Logan was working tirelessly when he was home to try to complete his gift. When he got home from school he would do his homework as quickly as he could, not even bothering to double check it, and immediately set to work on the project with his door closed for fear that his parents would see him pouring his time into such a trivial activity. One night after dinner his mother knocked on his door.

"Logan, may I come in?"

"Um, sure thing mom" Logan replied shoving the yarn and needles under his desk.

"Are you feeling well Logan?" Mrs. Mitchell asked "You've been extremely distracted lately"

"I'm fine mom; don't worry"

"Your studies are going well?"

"Yes ma'am."

"All of your homework is completed and turned in on time?"

"Yes ma'am."

"And what of those boys you spend so much time with? You haven't been with them in a while, are you fighting with them?"

"No ma'am, we've just had other things going on"

"Alright Logan. Your father and I just want to see you doing your best, so let us know if anything is upsetting you"

"I will mom, thank you"

She closed the door and Logan smiled to himself. He knew his parents loved him; they just had different ways of showing it than he sometimes wanted. He pulled out the bag of knitting and set to work again. The piece was really beginning to take shape and he could see Kendall with it. The image warmed him and gave him abundant motivation to persevere through the challenges.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan's fingers worked furiously as excitement bubbled up inside him. He was knitting the last two rows of his project and it was almost done! He finished the last knit and checked the pattern again. He followed the instructions for cutting the yarn and weaving the tail back into the knits.

Finished.

He let out a breath and relaxed. Pushing the yarn and needles aside, he laid the completed beanie out on his desk and looked at it. It was far from perfect and he was disappointed with each mistake he saw, but he couldn't hate the finished piece. It represented three weeks of hard work and, yes indeed, love. He had spent too long placing each knit, pulling them apart and trying again, to hate the creation. There were dropped stitches, stitches which were pearled instead of knit, and the colors didn't always transition right, but he was proud. Never before had he made something with his hands like this, so he couldn't help but be proud. He checked the clock on his nightstand. 12:45. He should have been in bed long ago, so he put away his work, turned off his desk lamp, and crawled in to bed. Thankfully it was already Christmas break and he didn't need to set his alarm for school in the morning. His relief over finally finishing Kendall's present combined with the warmth of his blankets made drifting off to sleep quick and easy.

_iTwo more days/i_ he thought as he watched the snow falling outside his window _iThen I can give Kendall his present... and maybe... /i___

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan awoke with anticipation growing in the pit of his stomach on Christmas Eve. Mama Knight's annual party was that night and he had decided to give Kendall the hat at the celebration. The hours passed slowly for Logan as he anticipated the night. He tried reading but found that he spent his time not gleaning any information from the text, but rather training his eyes on the page and forcing himself to not look at the clock.

Logan would be going to the party early anyway to help Mama Knight with her preparations, but he still found waiting for 2:00 the most difficult thing in the world. At 1:30 he decided to wrap Kendall's gift and was shocked when he pulled it out of his desk drawer. How had the project he'd been so proud of two days before become the shoddiest thing he'd ever laid eyes on? Those mistakes weren't minor, they were glaring! The whole thing was hideous and looked like it had been made by a person with limited motor skills in poor lighting. Suddenly the prospect of handing this amateur piece of work to Kendall was terrifying.

i_What if he doesn't like it?_/i Logan thought, feeling sick to his stomach i_He'd probably smile and say "Thank you" because that's just the kind of guy he is but I'd know that he was actually disappointed._/i Logan wrapped his gift miserably. There was no point in changing his mind now. He'd rather give Kendall the hat and have him think Logan was an unskilled cheapskate than give him nothing and act like he'd forgotten to get him a gift. No, he couldn't have Kendall thinking that he could ever actually forget about him, especially not on Christmas. He put the wrapped hat in the bag with Mrs. Knight's and Katie's gifts and headed for their house.

"Hi Logan!" Mrs. Knight cheerily greeted as she opened the door and pulled Logan into a hug. "Merry Christmas!" she said giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks Mama Knight, Merry Christmas!" He said, entering the house. Logan shuffled out of his snow-covered boots and left them in the corner by the door before following Mrs. Knight into the kitchen. Before doing so, he dropped off the bag with his presents underneath the Knight family's Christmas tree.

"So what still needs done?" he asked.

"You know, I'm actually ahead of schedule this year, if you can believe it!" She said looking both surprised by and proud of herself "The ham's in the oven already and the cookies are cooling, so if you could start cutting the potatoes for the scallop that'd be great! I'll get started on the yams."

"Sure thing" Logan smiled as he pulled out the knife and cutting board and set up on the table next to the bag of potatoes.

"So Logan, did your knitting project turn out well?" Mrs. Knight asked from the other side of the kitchen.

"Oh, um... well, it's not what I wanted it to be, but it's not too bad."

"Yeah, I remember my first attempt at making Kendall's baby booties. They were... well, let's just say no human baby's foot is shaped the way those booties were shaped" She said with a laugh. "You were making it for a Christmas present, right?" She asked, turning away from her yams to direct her question to Logan. He nodded.

"Well I'm sure whoever you give it to will love it, just because you made it for them" Logan nodded again, a bit reluctantly. Mrs. Knight walked over and hugged him "Really Logan. No matter what the finished product looks like, the person you give it to will know it's special because you took the time to make it yourself"

Logan was comforted by the warmth of her words and embrace. "Thanks Mama K. I hope you're right"

"I'm sure I am" She said patting his back and returning to her work "Now get to slicing, I love this feeling of being ahead of schedule and I don't want to lose it!"

Logan smiled and continued slicing the potatoes. He and Mrs. Knight prepared several more dishes and appetizers and desserts, with Kendall and Katie dropping in to sneak samples throughout the process, before finally sitting down to decorate the sugar cookies. It was the most fun part of prep, so of course they saved it for last.

"Hey kids we're ready to decorate the cookies if you want to help!" Mrs. Knight called out to her children. Instantly Kendall and Katie's footsteps were heard rushing down the stairs, through the living room, and into the kitchen.

"Yes! My favorite part of Christmas!" Katie exclaimed.

"Hm, maybe next year I'll skip buying presents and just get you a bag of cookies and some icing then" Kendall said with a smirk as he sat down next to Logan at the table.

"Don't even think about it, big brother"

"Hm, I don't know Logan." Mrs. Knight said. "Every year we do all the hard work preparing the meal, fighting off these two scavengers throughout the day, and then we let them join in for the best part. Maybe we should just save the fun for ourselves this year, since we have the extra time?"

"You're right, it doesn't seem very fair to me" Logan said smirking up at Kendall.

"Oh come on, you know you have more fun when I'm around, Logan!" Kendall said in defense.

"Yeah, I do..." Logan said, unable to stop smiling as he looked at Kendall and his goofy grin.

The four began icing and sprinkling the cookies. Logan looked around the table and felt warmed to see a room full of people he loved. His eyes lingered on Kendall as he showed Katie his latest cookie, dripping with icing and sprinkles, making a mess on the table. Kendall noticed Logan's staring and smiled at him.

"What do you think of my cookie?" he asked, thrusting the pastry into Logan's face.

"Um, it's beautiful. What's it supposed to be?"

"A Christmas Tree, duh!"

"Why's it, like, a brown-gray color?"

"Well, I tried to put all the colors on it, but they kinda smeared together. For a while it looked like a cool tie-dye tree, then I kept adding more and it got to this color. Then I thought I'd put on the sprinkles to make it festive, see?" He forced the cookie within inches of Logan's face again.

"'Less is more'" Logan sagely quoted.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind"

Logan continued working on his decorations. Granted, he wasn't much in the way of an artist, but he was very neat and orderly. Each tree he decorated with a layer of green bespeckled by multi-color M&Ms for ornaments. He would glance over to Kendall's work and sometimes feel a twinge of jealousy that he lacked that carefree ability to decorate the cookies in any way, heedless of any representation of real-life.

Other times, he looked over and simply wondered who would eat such a monstrous over-use of frosting drowning a helpless cookie.

The four finished the cookies with about an hour to spare before the guests were set to arrive. Katie opted to watch TV, while Mrs. Knight took a much-deserved nap, and Kendall and Logan went up to Kendall's room.

"So what do you wanna do?" Kendall asked, flopping across his bed.

"I don't know" Logan said, sitting at the foot of the bed. Kendall turned on his side and propped his head up on his hand to look at Logan.

"We could play a game?" Kendall proposed. Logan shook his head. He was actually feeling a bit of apprehension creeping in again about the gift.

"I don't really want to do anything, I feel kind of tired" He said. Kendall reached up to Logan's shoulder and tipped him back onto the bed.

"There, have a rest!" He said playfully, causing Logan to laugh.

"Gee, thanks big guy. I feel immeasurably better!"

"Don't try to use big words just to confuse me, Mr. Ivy League!"

"Oh sorry, I guess there are two whole syllables in 'better'"

"Har har Logan, you're so funny" Kendall said crossing his eyes and putting on a voice. "If you're gonna be like that I'll just go to sleep!" Kendall reached back for his pillow, smacked it onto Logan's stomach, dropped his head on it and began snoring loudly.

"Kendall, get off!" Logan said through his laughter, slapping Kendall on his back.

"Can't. Sleeping." Kendall said, before resuming his exaggerated snoring.

"Come on you big oaf!" Logan protested. Secretly, he savored the closeness though. He looked at the back of Kendall's head resting on his stomach and thought of all the things their friendship meant to him, all the moments like this when it was just the two of them, all the things he risked losing if he pushed it too far. Kendall turned around to face Logan.

"Watcha thinking about?" He asked, looking Logan in the eyes with a gentle concern.

Logan shook himself to break from Kendall's eyes. "Nothing" He smiled, sheepishly.

"Sometimes I wonder what's going on in that big ol' brain of yours." Kendall said, reaching up to place his hand in Logan's hair and give the boy's head a gentle shake.

Logan laughed lightly "Eh, just general thoughts. Physics, future plans, possible experiments for the science fair..."

"Jenny Tinkler"

"Dude, that was one date and it was in sixth grade!"

"She's still only got eyes for you, Logan. I've noticed"

"She set my room on fire with the light-up necklace I gave her!"

"So would you say you were burning up for her?"

Logan shook his head at his best friend's terrible joke as Kendall laughed heartily. "I really need some new friends" came Logan's typical response.

They spent their time reminiscing, talking about school, thinking up new hockey strategies, remembering Christmases past, and teasing each other whenever possible. When they heard the doorbell ring, signaling the arrival of the first guests, they headed downstairs to greet the new arrivals.

James and Carlos walked in with Mr. and Mrs. Garcia and Carlos' little sister Gabriela. Logan wasn't surprised that James came with the Garcias; his parents were much like Logan's and didn't often involve themselves with many of their son's activities or interests.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Garcia!" Kendall said brightly. "Mom'll be down in a minute, can I take your coats?"

"Aw, there's my little gentleman!" Mrs. Knight said proudly, coming down the stairs. She reached the Garcia family and James and gave each of them a hug and kiss "Val, Marie, thanks for coming, Merry Christmas!"

"Oh thank you for inviting us! You know we wouldn't miss it. I brought some wedding cookies" Mrs. Garcia said, passing a tray of the powdered sugar-covered cookies to Mrs. Knight, which she accepted excitedly.

"Oh! You know how much I love these!" She said gleefully. "Where are your other boys?" she asked, referring to Carlos' older brothers.

"Ah, they said they were too old for this and had other parties with kids their own age" Mr. Garcia replied.

"Well, their loss. Come on into the dining room, I've got coffee and cocoa ready"

As the adults left and Gabi went off to find Katie, the boys exchanged their Christmas wishes and headed for the dining room.

"The only problem with Christmas is no one ever makes corn dogs or fun food like that" Carlos said sadly as he piled his plate with ham and rolls. "When I grow up it's gonna be corn dogs and chicken fingers every Christmas!"

"Hm, I don't think we should have Christmas at Carlos' house when we're adults" James said, causing Carlos to pout until James knocked him playfully on the arm "Only joking man. We can all bring our own stuff to the party so we'll all have something we like"

Carlos cheered back up and the boys went into the living room to watch Christmas specials as they ate. James noticed the tray of cookies on the table. He whispered something to Carlos and the shorter boy burst out with laughter.

"What's going on guys? No secrets between best friends!" Kendall said to the two giggling at their end of the couch.

"We were just saying you can always tell the difference between yours and Logan's cookies because yours are so crazy and Logan's are so plain!" Carlos exclaimed.

"Hey, my cookies are not plain!" Logan said defensively.

"Ok, they're not plain." James said. "We'll just call them 'neat'. Seriously though, do you realize you decorate them the same way every year?"

"I just like them to look nice" Logan said softly, casting his eyes downward.

"Come on, let's not pick on Logan" Kendall said, putting a hand comfortingly on Logan's knee and turning toward him "I think your cookies are beautiful"

Logan sat there with his eyes locked on Kendall's hand on his leg, which remained there even after he had turned back to continue talking with James. Carlos caught his eye as he looked excitedly from Logan to Kendall, raising his eyebrows. Logan hastily shook his head at Carlos and pushed Kendall's hand away from his knee. Kendall looked away from James to give Logan a look of confusion and vague annoyance, but shook it off and continued his conversation.

Logan got up and headed into the kitchen as he felt his cheeks flush. Carlos followed shortly after him.

"Hey, sorry, I thought you had already given him the gift and talked to him" Carlos said sincerely.

"No, not yet" Logan said, his annoyance softening as he saw the honestly contrite look on his friend's face. "I'm really nervous, and I don't want to do it in front of everyone"

"Well do you want me to get James to clear out and we can give you guys some privacy?"

"No, thank you though. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I don't want to do it just yet..."

"Ok, but don't keep putting it off and talk yourself out of it. You always do that and this is too big for you to let pass by"

Logan smiled at Carlos' surprisingly good advice. "Thanks man, I won't"

"Hey, what are you two doing in there, making out?" James called from the other room.

"Yes, James. Are you Jealous?" Carlos called back.

"Nope, just curious. Bring me back some more fruit salad when you're done"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After about five more Christmas specials and several more helpings of food Logan was feeling very over-full and decided to step out to the front porch for a little air. He passed through the dining room which had filled with more of Mrs. Knight's friends and heard Katie and her friends playing around upstairs.

He stepped out into the cold night and loved the way the sudden temperature change bit at his skin and woke him up. The snow on the Knights' lawn glowed in the moonlight and he was reminded of all the snowball wars he and the boys enjoyed years ago as children, and the ones they enjoyed just last month over Thanksgiving break. No matter how mature he liked to think he was, nothing was better than just goofing off with his three best friends. They shared a bond he couldn't imagine trading for anything; they brought out the best in each other and beyond that, simply loved being together. No matter how much Carlos' stunts horrified him, or James' antics grated his nerves, or Kendall's encouraging pushed him out of his comfort zone into terrifying uncertainty, they meant the world to him. He could only hope he meant as much to them as they did to him.

Logan was still lost in his musings when he heard the door open behind him.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" Kendall asked as he approached Logan on the porch.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking"

"As always" Kendall said fondly, smiling warmly at Logan. "You want to go back in?"

"Nah, I'm liking it out here"

"Ok" Kendall said, joining him at the railing.

"So Katie's going crazy and says Gabi won't leave her and her friends alone" Kendall said, leaning against the support beam and looking out at the snow.

Logan laughed. "Yeah, she can be quite a handful. I'm glad she's got Katie to chase after tonight instead of us"

"Katie says Gabi's trying to give her a makeover"

"Yikes, I'm surprised Gabi's even still walking after trying something like that."

"I think Katie's in a generous mood thanks to the Christmas spirit, but Gabi better not push it 'cuz that'll only last so long"

The two boys laughed together. As Logan settled down and looked at Kendall he realized something. This was the moment. They were alone, they were happy, the snow was starting to fall...

"Kendall, will you go on a walk with me?"

"Sure. Lemme go get my coat. You want yours too?"

"Yeah, I'll get it though, thanks."

Kendall shrugged and went back inside with Logan. Once Kendall disappeared up the stairs to his room Logan rushed over to the tree where he'd left the gift and stuffed it inside his jacket. Kendall came back down the stairs in coat, hat, and fingerless gloves, ready to head out.

"Where you wanna go?"

"Nowhere specific. I just feel like walking"

"Cool"

They headed back out the door, this time more protected against the cold, and started down the sidewalk. They didn't talk, simply took in the sight of their little town, snow-covered and all but shut down for Christmas. Hardly a car drove by to disturb the peace, no shops were open, and almost no one else was out. The lightly frosted sidewalks glittered in the light of the street lamps they passed. Logan looked up at Kendall who was watching the snow fall around them. His heart started pounding as he gathered the nerve to speak. Kendall noticed his stare and turned back to look at Logan.

"What's up?"

"Um, I- I've got something for- um- I mean-" Logan stumbled over his words, kicking himself for the fool he was making of himself right now. "Here, I've got your Christmas present." He finally got out. Logan reached inside his jacket and pulled out the floppy parcel. He handed it to Kendall without even looking at him.

"Oh, thank you Logan" Kendall took the package from Logan's shaking hands and began unwrapping it. He gasped when he finally pulled off the paper.

i_Oh God, he hates it_/i_._ Logan instantly thought. He chanced a look at Kendall's face. The sight he saw flooded him with hope: Kendall was holding the hat, turning it over in his hands with a look of awe on his face.

"Logan, it's awesome! I've never seen a Minnesota Wild beanie like it!"

"I made it" Logan said.

Kendall's face changed from wonder to shock. "You _made_ this, Logan?" Kendall excitedly whipped the beanie off his head and replaced it with the one Logan made, smiling from ear to ear.

Encouraged by Kendall's reaction, Logan decided it was time to go for it.

"Kendall?"

"Hm?"

"Um, I made that because I wanted you to know" He paused, but closed his eyes and forced himself through his nervousness "I wanted you to know you're special to me."

"Logan...?"

Logan tensed up and kept his eyes glued to the pavement. No backing out now. "I like you as more than a friend Kendall. I- I think I have for a long time now and I've just been too... nervous to tell you about it." Logan went on, finding the words easier as he continued "I'm so afraid of losing what we have but I don't want to keep this inside anymore; it's too much. It's too hard for me to be this close to you all the time without really having you all the way that I want to." Logan blushed at the implications of his own words.

Kendall made no sound. When Logan managed to look at him he found his expression impossible to discern. Was he angry? Confused? Disgusted? Kendall seemed to be thinking hard about what Logan had just dumped on him. Eventually his expression started to melt into, what was that? Happiness? Pride?

"Wow, Logan" Kendall whispered.

"What?"

"You're always so afraid to take the risk, but you were brave enough to admit your feelings long before I was"

"Huh?" Logan's heart was pounding again as his breath started to quicken. His mind was racing as he tried to keep himself from jumping to conclusions about what exactly Kendall meant.

"Logan, I've had these feelings for you for years" Kendall said fidgeting with his hands, but keeping his eyes locked on Logan's. "And I was so afraid that if I told you it would mess up everything we had and I couldn't take that risk. I was so scared that you'd get freaked out and not want to be near me anymore so I just kept it a secret." Kendall seemed disappointed in himself. "I hate trying to be fake" Logan stepped forward and grabbed Kendall's hands, looking up into his eyes.

"Kendall?"

Kendall leaned in and caught Logan's lips in a quick, shaky kiss that left them both breathless.

"Oh my God, Kendall-" Kendall kissed Logan again, longer this time. Logan had no idea what to do; he leaned into Kendall and wondered if he should be doing something more. Kendall wrapped his hands around Logan's waist to pull him even closer so he brought his up to rest on the sides of Kendall's face and just let himself enjoy the moment. He was with Kendall in a way he'd never even dared think would be possible and if he was doing something wrong, it didn't matter because when Kendall broke the kiss after what seemed like an eternity and an instant in one, he was smiling down at Logan with a look of love in his slightly wet eyes. That look would be forever imprinted in Logan's memory as the best Christmas gift he ever received.


End file.
